6 Ways You Unconsciously Ruin Your Life
It’s 8:39 in the morning. I have started feeling the chills of winter. The weather is bringing a lot of nostalgia. Even though the afternoons will be hot as hell, the mornings remind me of a transition that’s taking place.
How swiftly and softly the clouds will take over the sun and within a few weeks, drinking hot tea will be my favorite thing to do.
Normally, I will wake up and start studying for the public sector exams I am preparing for. But today I decided to escape all that hassle and bustle for a few hours and write my heart out.
Writing was not the first thing I wanted to do today. But something happened. And it’s a vicious cycle, I must say. I have been unconsciously ruining my life for years now.
And today, I wanted to do something about it. So that’s what brings me to Medium on an early Friday morning.
Have you ever made a decision for yourself and then second-guessed it? Maybe you got information that something new and better just arrived in the market. This could be about materialistic things like phones, laptops, and stuff. Or some more important stuff like your career.
Let’s say you decide to walk on a path. After some time you see something bigger and better on the way and change the direction. You do this again and again and again. Now, where do you think you are? Did you reach any of the destinations you wished for? No, right? You are simply lost now.
Not sticking to your decisions because you are busy chasing an illusion is going to ruin your life. Yes, maybe that field is much better than what you previously decided. But you don’t have to jump straight into the unknown. You can't leave your previous decisions hanging like this. This only describes your ability to avoid harder things by chasing something much easier. Let me tell you my friend, good things take time, effort, and dedication. And it’s a universal truth! So stick to your decisions because whether you believe it or not, consistency is indeed the key.
Negative self-talk is the nemesis you never thought you had. It’s ruining your confidence, and it’s probably the reason why you are sabotaging some life-changing opportunities that come along your way. You have to realize that whatever you think and speak about yourself is extremely important. Stop treating yourself like some lost cause. Don’t say things you don’t mean. And most importantly, stop talking shit about yourself.
When someone has both fear of failure and success, they end up being average. They can’t fail, and at the same time, they can’t be at the top too. Being at the top means dealing with loads of responsibilities, and failing is just terrible, right? There are some people who are capable of so much. But they keep on sabotaging themselves because they are not ready to deal with the changes success might bring.
Obsessing over what could have been instead of accepting what has already happened. I used to do this a lot. Now I am just surrounded by people who are obsessed with their past. I mean, yes, terrible things have happened. But you need to move on. Even though I am not obsessed with the past anymore, I am still scared of the future. I really don't like it when things don’t go my way. But at least I know this is wrong, and I need to work on myself. Unlike some people who are hell-bent on ruining their life and won’t even accept it. Acceptance is the first step towards change. Maybe they weren’t taught that. You don’t be like them, okay?
Letting people walk all over you. Hello to all the people pleasers out there. I know you have this terrible need to be the so-called “good person”. You want people to like, love and adore you. That’s why you have a hard time setting boundaries for yourself. How is that working out, by the way? Not good, right? You have to learn to say no without pissing people off. You can disagree with your loved ones. They won’t love you less after that. I used to have a hard time saying no. But with enough practice, I can fearlessly do what I want to without being guilty about it. You need to learn this art before it’s too late.
Have you ever made a to-do list and delayed finishing it? You shifted your work to tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and so on? This is what we call procrastination. We don’t do this because we are lazy. Procrastination happens because of either of the 5 things mentioned above. Maybe you got overwhelmed by too much information. Or your negative self-talk got the better of you, and now you think you are a useless piece of shit. Maybe your fear of success is crippled and you sabotaged yourself with procrastination.
You are your true nemesis, to be honest. The worst part is, you have no idea about all this. You are so busy focusing on others that there is no time left for yourself.
Let me tell you a secret. If you work on yourself and stop pointing out the weaknesses of others, half of your problems will be sorted automatically.
You owe yourself a better future.
Remember that.
