If not now, when?
Yesterday I found out about Substack. It’s a platform that allows you to open your newsletter business for free. I wanted to write for my newsletter but was in doubt.
Also, I am supposed to be preparing for my public sector exams. Yeah, you heard that right — I am supposed to. Do I want to? Not so sure.
What I am sure about is I am not supposed to be writing on medium or for my clients. I am not even supposed to think about starting my newsletter business, let alone actually starting it. But do I want to? Yes.
Will it upset my relatives? Yes. My parents? Not so much.
I just graduated in October or November. Can’t remember when the results were announced, lol. So technically I was supposed to get a Master’s degree but didn’t want to, so I said no and took a 1-year break.
I never took a break before, so for the very first time, I got scared for my career.
“I mean, isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”
— Rachel green
No, it isn’t.
What do you do when you are this level of scared? Find a way to not end up broke. Well, those exams were my safe space. A sorted path. They still are technically.
But the heart wants what it wants, right?
This month, I have been distracted a lot. I posted almost 5 or 6 posts on Medium, wrote for my clients, and researched about Substack. But today, I found myself dwelling in the deep sea of guilt and shame.
I have spent money on my offline and online coaching to prepare for those exams. Took a 1-year study break, so I am not supposed to be having fun — which I am having, btw. Still can’t get rid of those bloody reels and Netflix.
And I found myself spiraling over what could have been instead of what is. That, my dear friends, sucks a lot. I was assuming what would have happened if I had started writing on Medium during 1st year of college. Or If I had known about substack in Lockdown when I had just passed my 12th and had a lot of free time. Then I wouldn’t be in this situation.
But overthinking isn’t going to get me anywhere. Spiraling over useless stuff will just increase my problems.
So, I decided — I will take this risk.
I will keep writing for my clients, even if my relatives tell me I shouldn’t. I am going to write on Medium and I will start writing on Substack.
Because if not now, when?
Already wasted a lot of time listening to other people because I wasn’t courageous enough to go after what I wanted. Won’t make that mistake anymore.
But I will keep studying, guys. Already have invested a lot there. Will have to hustle hard and manage everything somehow. I sleep 8–9 hours, scroll Instagram, YouTube, and watch Netflix.
Will stop everything for 1 year and focus on what I am supposed to do and what I want to do. Let’s see what happens! Wish me luck and the ability to be disciplined. So that I finally do what I just said I will.
